My Traffic Rant

Rome traffic: looks crazy & is

So this is my traffic rant post.  I've tried to mostly just post about Rowan and what she's up to, but I just can't take this anymore and have to do a post on it.  So here goes.  Hopefully you'll enjoy it, if not, I'm sorry, but it's got to be said.

Most of the people in Saskatoon should NOT have their driver's licenses.  At least 90%.  Really.  I've lost track of how many times I've almost been hit, almost hit someone or just went "What the f*%#!" at people while we're driving.  Most of my friends know that I suffer from a teeny bit of road rage and have more than once threatened to beat other drivers with my ice scraper.  This has been for totally valid reasons!

Here are my top eleven of the worst offenses:

1.  SIGNAL!!! There's this neat little stick on the left side of your steering wheel; it's called a signal light.  The purpose of this neat little stick is to let other drivers know what direction you're going in.  Especially if you're going to do something stupid.  Then the rest of us know where you're going in your stupidity.

2.  Drive the speed limit.  Really.  I understand speeding, up to 10km/h above the speed limit on the freeway or highway, up to 5km/h in the rest of the city.  I do it too.  But those people who insist on driving 10-20km/h BELOW the speed limit really piss me off.  If you're not comfortable going that fast, don't drive.

3.  Yield to the person on the right.  I can't stress this enough.  Especially at a 4-way stop.  You will get my horn and I will almost hit you if you take my turn.  I promise.

5.  Slower traffic keep right on the freeway.  I know you might have passed that mini-van 1/2 a kilometer ago, but if I'm creeping up your ass, you are by definition slower traffic.  Lead, follow or get out of my way.

6.  Really stop at stop signs.  I was nearly nailed the other morning by a little chicky in a BMW SUV who just blew right through a 4-way stop.

7.  GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONE!!!!  This is non-negotiable people!  No texting, no talking, no checking messages.  Either get a headset or pull over.  I actually saw a guy on a motorbike, on the freeway, answer his phone at a red light, tuck it into his helmet and keep driving.  Morons!  Whoever is calling can wait.  They wouldn't want you to get in an accident for answering their call, trust me.

8.  Pay attention.  At all times.  To all things.  Rowan and I got rear-ended by some stunned banana in a giant F350 who just wasn't paying attention to the fact that I was stopped at a red light.  Luckily Rowan was fine, I had a bit of whiplash and there's only a little paint damage to my car.  But that's sooo not the point.  Not only was she blase about the whole thing, like she hits people everyday, and not only did she try to hug me, as if that would make it all better, but she offered me free massage (she's an RMT) if I "decided" not to file a claim.  Riiight.  Like I'm going to let you touch me or my kid after you rear-ended me.  Give your toque a spin.

9.  Don't rush the light.  If it turns yellow and you're halfway through, by all means, continue through the intersection, but don't run the red.  Other people are trying to get out if the intersection or to go through the intersection when our light is turning green.  Don't hold us up.  We have places to be too.

10.  Stop behind the line.  Not halfway across the crosswalk, not all the way across the crosswalk, BEHIND IT.  When I'm a pedestrian crossing the street, especially with Rowan in the stroller, I have no interest in walking through the traffic that is wizzing by.

11.  DO NOT BLOCK THE INTERSECTION!!!!  You may feel that you are saving a few minutes by getting that extra 4 feet. See #9.

And that's just my top 11!  I'm sure I could think of more, but it's making me angry thinking about this, so I'll just go drink my wine on this lovely day.  Keep these things in mind the next time you're on the road.  You don't want to be on the receiving end of my ice scraper, trust me.