Pooping For Distance

So we've all heard stories about babies and their projectile bowel movements, but usually they're my-cousin's-best-friend's-sister kind of stories, or they're a hilarious fictionalized hollywood tales of family chaos. This happened to us the other night...

I was just walking upstairs to go to the bathroom myself, while Bob was changing Rowan in her room, when I heard a sound that can best be described as "blurp," a wet explosion that up until that moment I had only associated with video games. This, friends, was no game!

A moment after the noise I heard Bob squeal. Yes, she squealed, and immediately called out for my assistance. Fearing the worst, as new parents do, I ignored the dire warnings from my own full bladder and lept into Rowan's room to render aid.

And when I got there I was greeted to the site of one shell-shocked Bob, one satisfied looking Rowan and a prodigious amount of fecal matter dripping down a lamp, the wall and the side of the crib. In the space of one second I went from worried, to horrified, to laughing my ass off.

The kid managed to spray well over a foot and a half in distance. It was impressive. As traumatized as poor Bob was, we managed to clean it all up in just a few minutes with some shop towels, a lot of water, disenfectant and a load of laundry.

And what did we learn from this experience?
1. Pay attention to the look on Rowan's face before removing her diaper. The picture above is her "It's coming soon look", followed by a scrunched up, "Here it comes," look and then the relaxed, "Ah, that's how I spell relief - sorry about your shirt" look.
2. Never remove the old diaper until the new diaper is primed and ready to move into position. You'd never tear down a damn until the new damn is made right? Well a baby, like a damn, tends to hold back a lot of liquids...