Have Teeth, Will Bite

Not real teeth, Mom's impression

We had a pretty rough week close to the end of May that I thought was going to lead to early weaning. Much tears, frustration, phone calls to almost everyone I know who nurses or has nursed a baby and frantic internet research ensued.

Rowan has always been a bit of a nibbler when she nurses. It's one of the reasons we introduced a soother. When she was a few months old, she would nip at me, we think to make the milk flow stop so she could comfort nurse rather than food nurse. It was surprising, a teeny bit painful, but not too bad. I would take her off, say "No" in a stern tone of voice and put her down. After giving her a couple minutes, I would then put her back on for more if she wanted it. The right thing to do, right? She mostly quit doing it, although I knew she was gnawing at her soother, at least she wasn't gnawing me. Until the end of May.

One lovely Sunday afternoon, I sat down to give her her before-nap boobie, and she bit me, hard. With two very sharp bottom teeth. I yelped, pulled her off, said "NO!", maybe a little more sternly than I should have, and put her down to cry. That's when I realized I was bleeding. She'd actually drawn blood!
Now I didn't have to deal with cracked and bleeding nipples (thanks to luck and a good latch), so this was quite shocking and a little disturbing. You're nipples aren't supposed to bleed! And why'd she bite anyway? I hadn't done anything wrong! Never bite the boob that feeds you!
After a few minutes, I tried putting her back on and she did it again! More crying, more blood and the end of that nursing session. James got her to sleep for her afternoon nap since at that point I was incapable of doing it.

Skip ahead to that evening and it happens again! Same thing, no warning, only one bite and she wouldn't take a bottle. So she went to bed with Daddy as I sat on the couch and cried. What had I done wrong? She had such a placid look on her face as she chomped down, I couldn't figure it out. Was she teething? Done nursing? Angry with me? It's so hard not to take it personally, but you have to.

Next morning, James gave her a bottle to give me a break first thing in the morning, then I tried nursing her before her morning nap. Another bite. More blood. And that was it. She got bottles for the rest of the day. I had no idea what to do. I called my LLL leader. I cried to Mum. I talked endlessly to James about how I didn't know if I could keep nursing. What then? Formula? Hell no! Pump for the next 3 or 4 months? Sucky, but possible.

Next day, I soldiered on. Tried again. No bites. Is it over? I got a nip once during the day (but it might have just been over-zealous sucking and I was over sensitive), but no blood. And we've been good since. It took me about 2 weeks to be able to nurse her until she was done, rather than pulling her off when I couldn't take the suspense anymore. Will she bite? Is she done? Can I put her down now? How horrible to live in fear of the next bite! I dreaded nursing for those 2 weeks or so.

What I learned from this: I started paying attention to her cues again rather than just nursing her before her naps and after. She went from nursing 5 times a day to 2 or 3 and I think we're both much happier. I can now nurse and let her pop on and off a few times. I'm still a little nervous, especially when I think about her top teeth coming in. And when I see my blood-stained nursing pads. But just like horses, you can give the baby a boobie, but you can't make her nurse. 'Cause she has defenses that grow in more everyday.